Total Drama Castle Nova
by FrostPrince
Summary: The loose sequel to Total Drama Castle Madness. 14 teenagers compete for a probably insufficient amount of money in a castle setting. (Reposted for archival purposes. Discontinued for now.)


"Despite skepticism towards the notion of a new season, here it is!" Chris proclaimed proudly from the over-sized wooden entrance to a massive, intricately-designed castle. Constructed out of gleaming silver brick, the structure comprised of multiple tall towers and block-shaped sections, all connected by corridors. The complex was topped off with aesthetically-appealing arches, statues and other things relating to stereotypical castles. The castle was surrounded by a tall, black metal barricade, sectioning it and the decently-sized, tree-filled castle grounds off from the bustling town around it.

"If the McLean Fortress wasn't enough exaggerated grandeur for you, here's the Royal Chris McLean Palace, the setting for the latest season of TOTAL! DRAMA!" the irritatingly flamboyant host rambled. "Or RCMP for short."

"I think that acronym is already taken."

A woman approximately the same age as Chris wore a frown as she came into view. She was a glossy brunette with calm green eyes protected by glasses, olive skin and a larger figure. She donned a pale yellow blouse and lavender skirt, oddly complimented by bright pink sneakers.

"Not now, Talgeya!" Chris hissed, narrowing his eyes as a warning to not venture further into HIS spotlight. "I have a show to do!"

"That I'M a part of, too!" Talgeya snapped. "Did you really think you could put off my introduction?"

"I was trying," Chris grumbled.

"Hellooo, viewers!" Talgeya addressed the viewing audience with noticeably fake exuberance. "I'm Talgeya, your co-host for this abomination of a show! And who better to lead an abomination with than an abomination himself? Why, your other co-host, Chris McLean!"

"Thank you, Tal," Chris' clenched teeth let the hatred of his words ooze through. "I REALLY appreciate it."

"Anytime," Talgeya stuck her tongue out playfully. "This season will have a different structure to the season it loosely proceeds! Fourteen carefully-selected teenagers will be living here for the next two weeks, participating in taxing challenges where if one of the two teams lose, they will be forced to eliminate someone through a vote. When two remain, they'll be vying for the title of winner, which we've been gracious enough to sweeten with the added prize of one million dollars!"

"It would've been five million," Chris informed the cameras, "but we were forced to spend the budget on the quality in the castle's structure, the MOSTLY medieval challenges and the non-medieval ones, the food and the paychecks for all the staff."

"Because if Chris had his way, the teens would starve to death or get killed in the game, and the staff would get evicted from their houses for not having enough money to even buy a candy bar," Talgeya added cheerfully.

"You don't have the right to say that about me!" Chris complained.

"Sorry, but your budget didn't include the cost for a time machine, so live with it!" Talgeya barked.

Chris fumed.

"Lookie! The contestants are arriving!" Talgeya exclaimed. Suddenly remembering something, she turned to Chris with accusing eyes. "Chris…?"

"I didn't strap a bomb to the bus, just like I promised," Chris said with a sigh.

"Good host guy," Talgeya praised. "I might let you watch more TV tonight instead of forcing you to do your job."

Chris beamed like a giddy puppy. Talgeya rolled her eyes.

A white bus blinded the co-hosts with the sun's reflection as it crossed through open iron gates, turning and stopping just at the entrance. A girl was the first one to daringly disembark.

"Our first contestant!" Chris announced, arms gesturing towards the girl. "Ivera!"

Ivera had amused, honey-colored eyes and bronze-toned skin. She had raven hair that was barely neck-length on the left and past shoulder-length on the right. She sported crimson pants and tank top of the same color.

"Hey, McLean," Ivera held her hand up in greeting before safely shoving both into her pants pockets. "Glad you chose me. You won't regret it."

Flashing an anticipating smile, Ivera turned to the female co-host. "And you are…?"

"Talgeya. Or Tal for short." Talgeya offered an outstretched hand, which Ivera politely shook before getting comfy in her own space.

"Like my devious choice?" Chris whispered to Talgeya, grinning wolfishly.

"Of course you love the devious ones," Talgeya rolled her eyes indifferently. "I won't judge yet."

Another girl was the next to hop off the bus, and quite literally at that. She swirled around, eyeing the blurring image of her surroundings, which just made it pointless to look in the first place. "OMG, TOTAL DRAMA! My kind of people!"

"This is…uh…" Chris turned to Talgeya.

"Tilly." Talgeya tried and failed to suppress a grimace. "Maybe not my wisest of choices, but she seemed harmless enough."

"Tilly" had a short stature. She had reddish-brown skin, an angel blonde ponytail accompanied by a red bandana, and energetic brown eyes. She was dressed in a radiant purple shirt and orange skirt.

The new arrival rushed up to Ivera. "Ow wow, like, hi! I'm Tilly: great teammate, trusted ally, shoulder to cry on and excellent confidante! Got a secret you need to spill and I'll willingly carry your burden 'cause that's what friends are for!"

"I'll hold your word to you," Ivera winked, playing along.

"Okie dokie, sounds good to me! Put 'er there, bestie!" Tilly chirped. "And I mean you can tell me ANYTHING. Like crushes and vote choices and secret alliances!"

"What was that?" Ivera blinked.

"Nothing," Tilly smiled, waving dismissively and keeping her cheery expression.

The first male competitor trotted down the steps of the bus. "First things first," he breathed, approaching the others. "Chris, did you put any secret rules in our contracts like the sadistic, uncaring person you are?"

"No, Harrison," the older male nodded.

"You're going to keep your promise in the contract and give us good food unlike all those other cleverly-crafted contracts?"

"Yes."

"Upholding the rules so no one cheats like all those times before?"

"Yes,"

"And you won't forget to give me my bags in the unlikely event that I'm eliminated?" Harrison raised an eyebrow.

"It's not guaranteed," Chris snickered, which elicited an elbow to his stomach from Talgeya.

"I mean of course," Chris wheezed. Coughing, he stated weakly, "This is Harrison."

Harrison was a tall, lanky boy, a mop of curly chestnut-brown hair atop his head. Storm blue eyes poked out from said mop. Harrison had stark white skin, and his attire consisted of a short-sleeved hooded sweater and blue basketball shorts.

Harrison examined the two introduced teens. "Here's the deal. If you're on my team, don't screw up the challenges and don't irritate me, and we'll get along just fine. I have to hold others up when they're idiots far too often."

"Alrighty, I can do that, totally!" Tilly giggled.

"Joy, a hyper girl," Harrison sighed. "You're playing the game wrong."

"I can abide by that," Ivera shrugged. "Welcome to Total Drama," she added with a wink. "Ivera."

"A pleasure," Harrison smiled. "You don't seem to have any game flaws. We should get along."

"Pleasant," Talgeya forced a grin to Chris.

A foot exited the bus, followed by the rest of the boy as he strode out. He had an arrogant demeanor.

"Wazzup, people?"

"Tal?" Chris questioned her in puzzlement. "Is he YOUR choice?"

"I felt the kid needed to be knocked down a peg…or off a cliff," Talgeya explained with an eager smirk. "Everyone, welcome Nash!"

Nash had caramel skin. His dark sunglasses both offered to satisfy whatever impossibly mirror-lacking narcissists there might be in the world, while concealing his eyes. He wore a black t-shirt under a black leather jacket. Nash wore black jeans.

"'Sup?" Nash nodded and shot an attempted 'drop-dead-hunkalicious' smile in Tilly and Ivera's direction. "I'm ready to dominate."

"Subtle," Ivera chuckled.

"OMG hi!" Tilly ran over and glomped the boy.

"What the frig?! Back off, retard!"

"Dude, where do I begin?" Harrison shook his head. "You're wearing stereotypical nineteen-seventies bad boy attire in an attempt to look 'cool' when in fact you're clichéd and quite the opposite. Your apparent 'bad boy' attitude is undesirable and will probably be your downfall in this game. That being said, good luck with that."

"Oh, funny guy?" Nash cackled cockily, going to stand face-to-face with Harrison and size him up. "Won't be laughing when I fricking punch you, ya little prick!"

Harrison coolly pushed Nash back with ease.

"You son of a…!"

"It's cool, it's cool." Ivera stepped between the two quarreling boys before Nash could retaliate. "Just ignore each other."

"You choose HIS side?" Harrison asked in shock.

Nash once again grinned like he was invincible. "You're dead, you bastard," he threatened as he let Ivera bring him to the side with her.

"I've been more intimidated by snails, and they were better-looking than you."

"Hey, that's, like, not nice!" Tilly gasped. "You're NOT not awesome!"

"Uh…" Harrison didn't know how to reply.

Talgeya noticed Chris basking in the joy of witnessing drama. "Enjoy this any more and your brain will explode."

"I taste the ratings," Chris moaned in ecstasy. "They taste of the tears of miserable, worn-out teenagers."

Talgeya stared disapprovingly as a girl tripped and fell out of the bus.

"They're coming!" she cried out, sobbing and flailing her arms as she sprinted over to the others. "Hide me! Oh god, they're coming!"

The girl wore tattered grey pants and an emerald green shirt, the sleeves long enough to conceal her hands. She had a thick, died dark-red braid and grey eyes.

"Who's coming?" Ivera asked in a gentle voice while Nash fake-coughed, "Freak!"

Harrison kicked him to the ground. He stood up, and the two proceeded to wrestle.

"THEY are!" the new girl answered Ivera. "They're small. No one can see them, but I know they're coming! I know it! AAAAHHHH!"

"Okay, firstly it's unethical to have a mentally unstable person participate in a reality show," Harrison pointed out while giving an uppercut to Nash's jaw.

"You fight like a fricking pansy, you m***erf***er!" Nash growled.

An upward kick silenced the Danny-from-Grease wannabe. "Secondly, she won't last a day."

Talgeya opened her mouth to scold Chris.

"But think of the ratings!" Chris interrupted in protest.

"Think of the hate mail and lawsuits, more like," Talgeya mumbled crossly.

"Stop fighting!" Tilly screeched pleadingly to the two boys. She grabbed Nash and hugged him from behind. "I think you need a loyal, optimistic best friend that treats you with respect and kindly lets you vent about your feelings when you need to. Do you need to? Huh? Huh?"

"Let go, ya dumb b****!" Nash shrieked, which got a response in the form of Harrison's fist.

"This is Natalie, everyone!" Chris said, trying to redirect the attention.

Natalie frantically did a 360 before allowing Ivera to guide her away. Meanwhile, the latest male got off the bus.

"A confident Orion is the subsequent competitor to depart from the bus." He went on rather oddly as he advanced forward. "He advances forward, anticipating the routine introductions while at the same time his mind is occupied by the gorgeous sight of the castle."

"Ugh, a clueless nut." Harrison pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "It's like there's never a short supply of those."

"Shut it before I cut you!" Nash spat.

The new male, Orion, had olive skin. He wore glasses in front of his swamp green eyes and had short, curly black hair. Orion wore green-and-yellow plaid khaki shorts and a blue collared t-shirt.

"Orion carefully examines the two male castmates," the boy continued. "Having previously observed their petty battle, he assumes that it would be wiser to nod to the presumptuous boy and ignore the obvious poser."

Still in a state of frustration, Nash went over to punch the boy. Orion sidestepped in confusion, letting Nash miss and trip over his own feet.

"Ow, my nose! You f***er!" Nash growled vehemently.

"This is Orion," Talgeya introduced. "I figured the show needed someone like him."

"Which means?" Ivera raised an eyebrow.

"Orion smiles at the girl and says, 'I am here to gain inspiration for a novel of mine. This castle will most likely peek my creativity, hence why I signed up."

"You sound really funny!" Tilly exclaimed happily. "I hope you're on my team. We can be friends until you're eliminated."

"Orion cocks his head to the side and decides he'll just nod respectfully." Orion chuckled in incomprehension as he joined the others.

The next person to exit the bus was yet another boy, this one smaller than average. He wore a white, sleeveless hoodie over a white muscle shirt that was ironic since the boy was stick-thin. He had short copper hair and glazed brown eyes. The tiny male had a pained expression on his face as he tried to pull a bulging duffel bag out. Finally, someone inside kicked it out, sending the boy sprawling onto the ground.

His bag fell onto him.

"Ach! Help me!" the boy choked and struggled.

"Pathetic," a girl scoffed as she too exited the bus. She wore red sports shorts and a magenta t-shirt. She donned wrist warmers on both arms. The girl had amber eyes, sandy blonde hair that reached the beginning of the neck, and cinnamon-coloured skin

The girl went over to the boy and heaved the bag off him. With only slight difficulty, she dropped the bag near the other contestants as the boy followed her.

"Oh, thank you!" the boy exclaimed. "Of course, I totally could've handled it myself. But I don't wanna show off, you know what I mean?"

"Don't end up on my team," the girl groaned.

"Welcome, Ory!" Chris greeted the girl enthusiastically.

"And welcome, Tysse," Talgeya greeted the boy more-so with pity than enthusiasm.

"Hi!" Tilly ran over to Tysse. "You look friendly! And super strong! Like a worm!"

"You know it," Tysse beamed obliviously. "One day, I'm gonna have the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger, or those other totally-ripped guys in those pictures that stand next to their hot girlfriends!"

"You do know most of those are probably photoshop'd stuff on the internet, right?" Harrison droned.

"And that you have no actual muscles and won't get them anytime soon," Ory added, exasperated with the game so far. "Can you even lift something remotely heavy?"

"Watch me!" Tysse grinned,. He located a rock the size of his head a few feet away. He went over and grabbed the bottom, trying to lift it…

And trying…

And trying…

"Um…that was just a warm-up, you know?" Tysse chuckled nervously. "But I've been trying really hard!"

"Pft, yeah," Ory rolled her eyes. "Just stay out of my way, and if you do, make sure it's just to help in the game."

"Well you two clearly have your game plans set," Ivera noted.

"Teamwork, effort, plain ol' voting if we lose," Ory nodded. "I'm here to play."

"You're all just sad," Nash cackled. "Idiots."

"A TOUGH GUY!" Tysse squealed, joining Nash's side before he could even blink. "Tell me, what's your secret?!"

"It's not being a retarded freak," Nash narrowed his eyes, shoving Tysse away.

"I'll win your approval!" Tysse vowed.

"Regretting any of your choices?" Chris prodded Talgeya.

"Um…a certain few," Talgeya admitted embarrassedly. "…But you should be ashamed of choosing…"

"THEY'RE HERE!" Natalie gasped, cowering behind Orion. "Please, you have to help me! God, they're here to take me!"

"Orion glances at the deluded girl with a sorrowful expression," Orion stated, doing exactly that.

"Do you have to be weird?" Nash smacked his forehead.

Harrison breathed dully. "Hypocrite."

As the drama died down (to Chris' dismay), a girl took her time to get out of the bus. Darker blonde hair with a streak of neon yellow in the middle matched her sky blue eyes. She sported a simple light green t-shirt and denim short shorts. She wore a kind, good-natured smile on her face.

"Hello," the girl waved modestly. "I'm Awrya. Nice to meet you all."

"Finally, a good-looking chick." Nash's toothy grin disgusted every sane person there as he sauntered over to Awrya. "'Sup? Name's Nash."

"Uh…ehehe." The girl rubbed her arm sheepishly before brushing past him to greet the others.

"Hey there!" Tilly gave a high-pitch squee as she violated any potential personal space Awrya had, trapping her in a death hug. "Wanna be besties? I've got loads of games we can play to have fun, like tag and hopscotch and who's a dirty rotten traitor in my alliance!"

"What?" Awrya inquired, growing more unnerved by the second. "You're speaking fast."

"I know! It's the great part of being me!" More squee-ing ensued.

"THEY GOT TO YOU!" Natalie shrieked. "Oh no, oh no, it's happening! It's happening already and I can't stop it! NOOOOO!"

Awrya's pale face and wide eyes showed her lack of hope in surviving long with these people.

"Orion is eager to talk about the topic that interests him the most," Orion said, busy in his mostly one-sided conversation with Ivera. "He says, 'My favorite books are mostly historical fiction, though I admit there's a soft spot in my heart for young adult realistic fiction.'"

"That's fascinating." Ivera forced a smile.

"Orion is content to know that someone shares similar interests to him," Orion smiled. "He smiles in a friendly fashion."

The proceeding participant marched off the bus with an unwaveringly headstrong stance. Her solid hazel stare made even Nash The Great flinch as she approached. The girl had two long, dirty blonde ponytails and wore a swampy green camouflage-patterned shirt with matching pants. Her feet were adorned with black combat boots.

"Listen up!" the girl declared with a gruff, commanding voice. "Do you know who I am? 'Cause I know who you'll come to make out of me. I'm going to be the person that slapped the idiocy and weakness out of you. I will be the person who yelled at you, and when you complained, I screamed louder. And I am the person whose feet you'll grovel at in gratitude after I've whipped you into a strong, determined, unstoppable force, as well as a respectable person. For those of you who get the privilege of being on my team, be thankful I exist. I'm going to make this the summer you never forget."

As the girl joined the cluster of teens, receiving stares of awe and fright as she did so, she grinned. "I'm Mikayla."

"…Well, that was definitely an indescribable…SOMETHING, wasn't it Tal?" Chris laughed in unnerved hysterics.

"Putting the Total in Total Drama," Talgeya nodded, "because the others will get totaled."

"I'm sorry," Harrison spoke to Mikayla. "Mikayla, or whatever. You know what you plan to do is basically gonna get you eliminated?"

Mikayla snapped her head in Harrison's direction, striding over to him within seconds. "What was that?"

"Your attempt to control your team will be the death of you," Harrison answered with equal confidence to Mikayla's. "You've automatically assumed your team will respect you for taking responsibility, when they never asked you to do so in the first place. They'll most likely revolt, if a strategist doesn't take you out first."

Mikayla laughed for a good few moments before patting Harrison on the head. "Don't expect to get off easier than everyone if you're on my team. In fact, expect worse with your condescending attitude."

"Look at who's deluded herself into thinking she'll get treated like queen," Harrison smirked.

"Ignore the BAD player," Ivera advised as she approached them. "It's nice to meet you, Mikayla."

Mikayla smiled at Ivera, and then gave Harrison a stare before walking away with her newfound friend. Ivera turned around and shook her head to Harrison reassuringly.

As everyone recovered from that impressionable introduction, a boy exited the bus without being noticed. It was only when he was a few feet away from everyone else that people looked towards him…

"This is Joey!" Talgeya introduced.

Joey was dressed in gloomily pale grey pants and shirt. He had dull rustic brown hair and green-brown flecked eyes. Even his face seemed to be bland and lifeless, with pale skin and his expression being, well, expressionless.

"Why is everyone staring at me?" Joey asked.

"Actually, we aren't," Awrya pointed out, showing that Ory, Orion, Natalie, Harrison and Nash weren't paying attention to him.

"I guess it's okay," Joey shrugged. "I'm boring to look at when I look at myself, too. Speaking of mirrors, those are cool. And I can't believe you guys have small rectangles that play music!"

"Joey used to be Amish," Talgeya offered to the confused Awrya. "He moved in with his grandparents, who left their town and its ways a few years ago."

"Yeah," Joey nodded. "I don't remember much from then, or now. My mind kind of blanked, I'm not sure why. And now I'm just kind of lost and confused and bored all the time."

"Well, I'll help you find your way," Awrya smiled, stepping forward and shaking his hand. "I'm Awrya."

"Nice to meet you," Joey returned the handshake.

"Yo!" Tysse grinned stupidly as he joined Joey's side, grabbing him in a tight side hug. "I'm Tysse. I'll help you through this game. I know how to be strong, so that'll help a lot! And I could share my dumbbells with you, if you need!"

"That's…wait, what's a dumbbell?" Joey wondered.

"It's you, silly!" Tilly giggled.

Meanwhile, Ivera studied the new boy interestedly.

Orion had ventured away from the contestants and two hosts, oblivious to the current drama. His gaze was fixated on a leaf floating smoothly to the ground before him.

"Orion captures a glimpse of a tiny portion of life that most take for granted," he monologue'd. "The beauty of nature and the laws of physics working in unison was something the inquisitive boy had always had an appreciation for, and witnessing this sole leaf undergo its forces, he couldn't help but stare."

"What a coincidence!" a voice slightly Southern-accented chimed. "I like that stuff, too!"

The stranger was short, wider and female. She had 'boy short' black hair hat poked out in flattened spikes from under her pale yellow headband. The girl wore prescription glasses to help her glinting golden eyes. She had rich, dark skin and wore a maroon-and-green plaid, collared shirt with blue overals.

"Gravity: the force of attraction of an object, the strength of it determined by the mass of the object," the girl stated. "That's my simplified and admittedly inaccurate definition of it, of course," she giggled. "I'm Lyra."

"Orion introduces himself through the use of his third-person, storytelling narrative," Orion greeted Lyra, bowing in welcome. "He can tell that a powerful friendship would soon form between him and the similarly inquisitive girl."

"I'd like that," Lyra smiled.

"Fat and nerdy. Fantastic," Nash chuckled.

"You keep your mouth shut!" Mikayla barked.

Nash quivered.

"Yep, that's Lyra," Chris nodded. "I expected her to be more of a Noah, since the audience loves his type, but turns out I was wrong in assuming."

"Wow. You actually confessed you were wrong for something." Talgeya's mouth gaped.

"I'm still human!" Chris snapped. "I'm just a better human than everyone else."

"What did I say about having a superiority complex!" Talgeya scolded.

"Sorry, ma'am."

Chris shrunk into himself. "Uh, how many people left to introduce?"

Talgeya counted the already-introduced competitors. "Should be just two."

Sure enough, the second-to-last TDCN participant leaped out of the bus entrance. The figure was a stocky boy, Bulging muscles in his arms. He had short-cropped black hair and wore opaque black sunglasses. He had heavily tanned skin, and wore a black wife-beater with black sports pants.

"'Nother tough guy!" Tysse squealed before composing himself…and then running to fanboy near the new guy.

"You're so strong!" Tysse gushed. "So awesome!"

"Get bent," the boy said. "Maybe if you're on my team, I'll tolerate you. But I ain't gonna be the bodyguard of just any shrimp."

"Hey! I'm, like, only a few inches below average!" Tysse protested, which earned a laugh from Nash.

"A guy who's tryin' to be cool but isn't, and a guy who'll never be cool," Nash cackled. "Step aside, nerds!"

Nash soon gulped back any more words he may have thought of as Francis got up in his face.

"Let me get your facts straight," the boy hissed. "I'm Francis. I've been the teenage body guard of famous teens; your Total Drama Brothers and all that. You are a troublemaker that I won't have any problem beating into a pulp if you mess with me or those I'm sworn to protect in this game. Got it?"

Nash tried to imitate Harrison from earlier by shoving Francis…

Francis didn't even flinch.

"…I got it," Nash nodded grudgingly.

"Good," Francis nodded.

"My future team could use someone like you," Mikayla nodded in approval. "It'll be an honor playing with you this season."

Francis acknowledged his castmate. "Same to you."

"Alright!" Chris clasped his hands together. "Last introduction ahead, people! It's someone VERY special."

"Oh boy, who could it be?" Talgeya frowned. "Someone crazy?"

"You know it!" Chris shouted joyfully. "Let's welcome Rin!"

A mad cackle could be heard from within the bus.

"Your winner is here!" Rin exclaimed. He had long, spiky blonde hair and hyperactive brown and blue eyes (brown for right and blue for left). Rin had pinkish-white skin and sported jeans, as well as a t-shirt with splotches of different shades of blue.

"I'm the guy who's winning this season, folks! You may as well quit while you're ahead, 'cause no one is safe!"

"What the…?!" Talgeya cocked her head to the side in bewilderment.

"I know how to play the game," Rin gave a broad grin. "I'm gonna be this season's anti-hero! That guy who doesn't fit with good or evil, but looks out for himself and even stoops to the tactics the villains get just to get by. But through it all, he's always the one the people at home root for, 'cause he's independent and tough! So watch out, 'cause I'm this season's anti-hero and not anyone else!"

"Great," Harrison rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" Rin barked. "Only the anti-hero can be sarcastic and cynical! Watch!" Rin cleared his throat. "You suck! You're all mean and stupid. This is going to be an absolutely FANTASTIC, SUPER season, right?"

Rin beamed with pride.

Harrison shockingly decided to let it be.

"He'll bring in those few viewers we may have lost because of the bad reviews Total Drama was getting from big-name organizations," Chris told the camera. "Yeah, that means you! You, on your couch with your bowl of Sails chips! WATCH THIS SHOW!"

"Product placement?" Ivera raised an eyebrow.

"They're a big sponsor," Talgeya nodded. "They give us money, and they get money from people buying and eating their chips while watching the show. They're pretty popular."

Chris and Talgeya both rotated their bodies to face the camera. "Fourteen teens have been introduced!" they said in unison.

"What will the teams be?" Chris asked.

"What'll the first challenge be?" Talgeya asked, as well.

"Will the crazies be tamed?" Chris queried. "Doubtfully."

"Will the mean people get what's coming to them?" Talgeya also wondered. "Hopefully!"

"Find out the answers when we return!" they exclaimed together, "On Total! Drama! CASTLE NOVA!"

* * *

Talgeya wordlessly guided the 14 contestants into the dazzling castle. A fancy, large entrance hall welcomed them to their inevitable demise.

"Chris, if you will," Talgeya sweetly requested to the male co-host behind her.

"I know how to do my job." Chris narrowed his eyes.

"But now I want you to do it WELL, ha-ha." Talgeya patted him on the back. "If you do me proud, I'll let you announce the tee-eeams."

At that, Chris swiveled to flash a smile at the teens. "Welcome to the Royal Chris McLean Palace!" Chris announced.

"The 'palace's' acronym is already…" Ivera spoke up.

"I know!" Chris interjected. Talgeya gave him a stare.

Chris meekly composed himself.

"Palaces are structures that originated from the ancient South-Western countries, mainly," Lyra informed Orion and anyone else within range. "It refers to a grand, rather homely residence more-so than it does a fortified building."

"Thanks for the history lesson. Now show us your tits," Nash cackled.

Harrison poked Nash from behind. "I'm not afraid of sending a good message to viewers by beating the crap out of you…again. Just letting you know."

"You trying to seem strong is funny," Mikayla mocked with a serious expression. "If only you weren't see-through."

"If only you weren't stereotypically narcissistic and destined for elimination," Harrison retorted.

"There's no point in trying," Natalie sobbed. "The invasion has begun. Humanity will fall under the rule of cruel, merciless creatures. All hope is lost."

"Only I can be sporadic and foreboding!" Rin snapped.

"…Uh-huh." Chris whistled awkwardly before resuming. "The RCMP will be your home for the next two weeks. Every day will be an elimination…except for today."

A few untraceable 'aws; echoed through the group.

"Just kidding!" Chris snickered. "Like I'd go a day without drama. One of you losers will becom an extra loser, so play hard."

"Before we move on," Talgeya interrupted with a forced smile, "I'd like you to say hello to your cook!"

Chris displayed little enthusiasm, much like the contestants and their chorus of expectant groans that ensued. The cook in question stepped into the vast hall and hurried across the distance to reach them.

The competitors gasped.

"Why, hello," the angelic blonde's timid, youthful voice chirped.

"Say hey to Dawn," Talgeya beamed.

Chris mumbled unintelligibly in dissatisfaction.

Dawn surveyed the others. "It's such a pleasure to meet you all-OOF!"

"HI!" Tilly shrieked. "You were, like, soooo awesome! Wanna be besties? Wanna?! WANNA?!"

Tilly grabbed the small girl by the front of her shirt and pulled her face up to her own. "You will cook good food for me or I will be very sad and confused and I'll hunt down your entire family, 'kay?"

Always a cheery tone. Dawn was mortified.

"Orion proceeds to wonder why he couldn't hear her words even when being fixated relatively close to her position," Orion said thoughtfully. "He resorts to remaining indifferent."

"DAWN!" Tysse squealed, rushing to her side. "Could you teach me how to teleport?"

"MOVING ON!" Chris bellowed.

Dawn was left for her fear to consume her. "Why does every season need black auras?"

* * *

A bathroom was the next visit on the agitating tour. "All sexes," Talgeya crossed her arms proudly. "Because splitting them was never necessary to society in the first place."

"Socially progressive. I approve," Ory nodded.

"I approve 'cause you approve," Tysse grinned to her dismay.

"Wow," Joey stared. "My parents would never like this."

"Why?" Awrya asked.

"They said it's shameful," Joey shrugged. "For 'a man and woman to mingle in private places other than being fruitful and multiplying', like bathrooms."

"Why would it be shameful?" Awrya raised an eyebrow.

"…I don't know. 'Cause it's a man and woman, I guess? That probably makes no sense. Huh," Joey admitted.

"I hope they're not on our team," Francis whispered to Mikayla.

Mikayla gave a questioning look.

"The strong deserve protection," Francis explained.

"If they can show effort and obedience, which they certainly will once I'm through with them, then that's all the strength we need," Mikayla countered. "Besides, that Joey guy has muscles. Raised in a rural area, I bet."

"…fine," Francis relented. "I still think some of them could hold us back."

He noted Natalie scanning every point of space she could fine.

* * *

There was a dining hall, a kitchen and countless doors whose innards weren't disclosed just yet.

"Showers!" Chris cheered, pointing to the respective doorway. "So I don't have to inhale the scent of deprecated teens."

"And just across the hall are your bedrooms," Talgeya informed the cast.

"Were the bathrooms the confessionals?" Ivera queried.

"Oh, there aren't any confessionals," Talgeya and Chris answered in unison.

"That was creepy," Talgeya remarked.

"Why? 'Cause I'm just as smart as you?" Chris taunted.

"You equal the subordinate. I equal your keeper. Get it?"

"Woah, woah!" Rin gasped. "No confessionals?! How am I supposed to broodingly insult everyone behind their backs now?! Or lengthily explain my strategies?!"

"The producers felt the solitude of confessionals was intrusive for the show and made less room for interaction between the cast," Talgeya shrugged. "Also, confessional eavesdroppers are a thing. So good luck standing one another a few minutes more every day!"

"Don't worry," Tilly piped up, grabbing Rin in a homicidal side-hug to his neck. "You can talk to me whenever you want, 'cause good friends let other friends do that, you know, and…"

She lowered her voice dramatically. "I will take over the world with youuuuuu."

Rin gasped ecstatically.

"Bestie!" Tilly squeed.

"Apprentice!" Rin squeed equally.

"Put your stuff away and then we'll announce both the teams and your first challenge," Talgeya instructed.

"Yeah, and…" Chris tried to dispel the attention he brought to himself without reason. "Um…yeah, always listen to what she says."

Talgeya clasped her hands enthusiastically. "Aw, you're getting the hang of it!"

After settling their possessions beside their shotgun'd beds (all of them being a dull grey, which also wasn't helped by the dim fluorescent lights hanging above), the teens exited and mentally prepared themselves for the game-setting moment that was the team formations.

"Based on an analysis of your chemistry," Chris began, "we couldn't help but feel COMPELLED to choose teams based on all the 'friends' you've made."

"Oh no," Mikayla and Harrison went blank.

"If I call your name, come to my side." Talgeya eyed the crowd of 14, keeping tension high.

"…Francis."

Francis nodded and did as told.

"Please pick me, please pick me," Tysse crossed his fingers.

"...Ory."

"Don't leave me!" Tysse weeped.

"…Lyra."

"I hope my knowledge serves us well," Lyra said cheerfully.

"Natalie and Orion."

"Orion would have questioned the decision for creating the team he had found himself on, but he easily became engrossed in the inner architecture and wall paintings, which he could imagine dancing about his cranium as they told a story from days of old."

"Doom," Natalie moaned.

"Ivera."

Ivera smiled at her team, which the majority returned. Lyra glanced with curiosity.

"And the final person to join this team shall be… Mikayla."

"I want you all to know that I respect each one of you as individuals," Mikayla spoke as she marched with dignity towards her team. "However, as of right now you are a collective, and as such it is my responsibility to see your improvement as players and success as fighters in my squad. I'm aware of this daunting task and hope to serve you all well."

Harrison sighed in relief. Audibly.

"This means the rest of you are now the second team," Chris said. "Nash, Tilly, Harrison, Awrya, Joey, Rin and Tysse. Henceforth, you will be known as… the Sinking Sunsets."

Talgeya nodded. "And the other team…I guess 'Mikayla's team'…"

"Um…" Lyra stammered.

"…will now become the Soaring Sunrises."

"I especially love how you can totally tell the names apart," Ory scoffed.

"No negative backtalk, you!" Mikayla scolded.

Ory furrowed her eyebrows. "It's called constructive criticism."

"So I have to handle naïve people," Harrison gestured to Awrya, Joey, Tysse and Tilly. "Evil people." He gestured to Nash. "And a…I can't even define him." He gestured to Rin.

"Anti-hero!" Rin cheered.

"Merge, here I come," Harrison sighed gloomily.

"Onto your first challenge!" Chris exclaimed. "What'll it be? Will it be complex?"

"Or easy?" Talgeya pitched in mysteriously.

"Deadly?"

"Or gentle?"

"Are you stupid, or stupid?" Nash laughed.

"Are you clichéd, or purposely bad at making jokes?" Harrison growled.

"Orion requests, 'May we all calm our vocal tones'?"

"Don't threaten us, we can teach you guys lessons! Right, oh wise one?" Tysse stuck to Nash's side. "Am I intimidating?"

"Try us!" Francis stepped up.

"OKAY SERIOUSLY, STOP!" Talgeya yelled, effectively shutting everyone up. "Your first challenge is to find a shrine somewhere in the RCMP, dedicated to the ruthless Duchess that once ruled this place. Deadly traps lie in wait, but unless you somehow came onto a show with a one million dollar prize just to die, you should be smart enough to get past them."

"Last team to make it has to vote someone ooo-oooff," Chris sang.

"THEY'RE COMING!" Natalie screamed, dashing through the corridor and turning a corner.

"Quick! After our emotionally-compromised teammate!" Lyra gasped.

"See you 'round," Ivera winked at her opposing castmates as the Soaring Sunrises scampered off.

"Let's NOT be our incompetent competition," Harrison suggested, positioning himself up front as they went in the opposite direction. "Uch, It's like I'm the Only Sane Man."

* * *

The Sinking Sunsets gathered into a hall wider than the others they had crossed.

"So I'm, like, on the team with cool and tough people?!" Tysse had a fanboy attack as he tried to get Nash and Rin's attention. He was currently jogging beside his teammates, losing breath but persevering. "I seriously need to know your secrets!"

"Why don't you take your gayness somewhere else?" Nash cackled.

Rin gazed intently at Nash.

"…You are my nemesis."

"What."

"Nemesis!" Rin explained happily. "Every anti-hero needs at least one nemesis that's an overall jerk. It's so the anti-hero's good and justice-oriented side can show."

"That totally makes sense!" Tysse nodded.

"O-M-G, that's, like, so cool!" Tilly chimed to Rin.

"Oh, yes, hello again my comrade in almost-but-not-quite-villainous arms," Rin greeted. "Hmmm, being the anti-hero and a companion, we need to have our own theme song. Our immense popularity dictates it as mandatory."

"O-M-G, totally!" Tilly agreed. They simultaneously hummed a tune.

"Being cool isn't JUST about muscles," Tysse reminded himself, "but also public image. I keep forgetting that!"

He hummed along with them.

"Eeewww, he joined iiiiin," Tilly hissed.

Harrison huffed. "Okay, no one else seems to notice, so I'll give it to you straight. Tysse, your willingness to follow anyone your subjective mind deems 'cool' makes you vulnerable to manipulation even by people who aren't strategic. You won't become physically fit anytime soon because it's a dedicated process that takes time and takes more than just exercising strenuously. Tilly, I already told you your main flaw, and Nash, your scars should be enough. Rin, you are not automatically an anti-hero just because you gave the title to yourself. You're deluded by the fame and success of characters in either fictional media or supposed 'reality media' that was probably altered by the creators to appeal to their largest demographic of uneducated people. That, or you're basing yourself off horrible role models that fit your classification of 'cool anti-hero person' or whatever. Your spontaneous gameplay will be your doom, and might also be a sign of mental issues. Please seek help."

…

…

…

…

…

"You're, like, a constant downer, huh?" Tilly stated.

Joey and Awrya trailed behind the team. "I'll never get used to this place," Awrya sighed.

"Hm?" Joey asked. "Sorry, I was going blank. Again."

"It's okay," Awrya waved it off. "I'll try to help you with that. Maybe we could start with you telling me…"

"DUCK!" Tysse screeched.

The team complied…as a large, vertical disk shot through the air and down to the other side of the hall.

"Did that thing have…?" Harrison gasped.

After a moment, the disk returned from the opposite end of the corridor, spiked tips showing off around it.

"…yep, it did."

"Stick to the walls!" Awrya cried out in panic. Everyone nodded…

The disk came back sooner than before, this time aiming diagonally towards the right wall.

"AH!" Nash and Rin evaded left, falling on top of each other.

"Get off me!" Nash barked.

"Do you want our bitter-rival-final-battle to happen ahead of schedule?!"

The disk returned, again from the way they had come from but even quicker, this time aiming towards the left.

"AAAHHH!" Awrya screamed as she was snagged by the shirt from the spiked ends and tossed to the other side of the hall.

As the teens continued to dodge the onslaught, Harrison counted under his breath.

"Two and a half…one…two," he concluded….

Harrison began to run, dancing frantically until safely reaching the end of the hall.

"What the hell are you…?!" Nash snapped, but was interrupted by a near hit.

Harrison caught his breath as he entered a doorway that led to another corridor. Three slots in the wall above the doorway let the deadly spiked disk shoot out.

"There's a pattern!" Harrison called. "Two and a half seconds 'till the straight shot, one for a right shot, two for a left shot."

The six remaining teens struggled for a moment longer, finally getting enough sense to listen. Soon, they had regrouped with Harrison.

"I just saved your lives," Harrison chuckled. "Be grateful I'm so smart."

"I could've done that," Rin commented.

"Me, too," Nash sneered.

"You were prancing like a Human Centipede in heels," the taller boy argued. "Ugly heels…to compliment your face."

"Yeah, you're offensive," Tilly told Nash. "It's almost like you're a good bad."

"What?" Nash blinked.

"All this fighting is getting us nowhere," Awrya pointed out.

"Listen to the so-sweet-it's-almost-creepy girl!" Tilly nodded. "I'm totally on your side, bestie!"

"Thanks?"

Nash took the lead this time, scowling as Tysse eagerly followed. Harrison sucked in a breath and boiled silently.

Joey and Awrya shared worried expressions.

* * *

The Soaring Sunrises somehow caught up to Natalie, who was currently being comforted by Ivera.

"Poor girl," Lyra sighed to herself. "Paranoia is becoming increasingly common nowadays. I blame government conspiracy theories."

Ivera glanced at Mikayla and Francis, who kept a distance between their front lead and the rest of the team. Ory placed herself in the middle and dared not engage in unnecessary discussions.

This left two final options.

"Hey, again," Ivera waved at Orion with two fingers, for she was holding Natalie gently by the shoulders.

"Orion is pleasantly pulled from his perpetual reveries to create alliteration and greet his previously-acquired friend," Orion smiled.

"Speaking of language, did you know bilingualism is healthy for the brain?" Lyra said. "I haven't had time to become bilingual, though, what with my interest in physics and Math. My classmates consider me mentally unwell for enjoying trigonometry."

"Fascinating," Ivera nodded with a wide-eyed expression that was hopefully sincere. "Clearly both of you are very smart."

"Orion is flattered and jokingly states, 'Well, I guess I can admit to finding pride in my vocabulary and creativity.'"

"What if we stuck together?" Ivera suggested. "I honestly don't think the others would mind. Alliances are just groups of friends."

"Orion contemplates this offer heavily, but thanks to his thoughts' rapidity of which he is very proud, he deduces that such an offer is quite welcome, and he will join Ivera for future adventure."

Lyra examined Orion and Ivera expressionlessly. "…Well, alright. That sounds useful and fun."

"I'm so glad."

"ALRIGHT!" Mikayla barked, causing all except Orion and Lyra to stop suddenly.

"Um, I never said we could rest." Mikayla turned around and raised an eyebrow. "I'll be teaching you how to properly jog while we walk. I expect you to learn within five minutes, and then we'll move on to throwing punches."

"Violent much?" Ory crossed her arms.

"Um, no, because this game is essentially war, and also 'cause I'm your leader so you do as I say," Mikayla replied.

Ory chuckled half-heartedly. "How about when the time comes, we do our best within the limits of, oh I don't know, basic morals?"

Now Mikayla stopped moving. "Is…that a threat to my leadership?"

"It's more like a wake-up call that we're a team, not a dictatorship," Ory snapped.

"Are we gonna have a problem?" Francis warned, sticking to Mikayla's side. "I protect my team, both from outside and inside threats."

"Calm down, calm down," Ivera assured everyone, rubbing Natalie to keep her calm amidst the chaos. "Let's finish this challenge together. Skills and teamwork are good, yes, but they're no use if we're eliminated one by one."

Ory and the Mikayla-Francis duo stared each other down before Mikayla resigned.

And then a boom echoed through the corridor.

"Do what nature programmed you to do and run!" Lyra shouted.

"Don't give my orders!" Mikayla growled.

"We don't need orders like that," Ory rolled her eyes.

"The collapse of civilization has begun!" Natalie howled.

The 7 group members retreated to the end of the hallway, finding themselves at a staircase leading down to a ball room.

The wide room was lined with couches coated in fancily-laced pillows, plant pots, suits of armor or side tables. A shimmering carpet floor was illuminated by a glass chandelier above, the same level as ceiling support beams that stretched to arm's reach at the staircase.

And in the center was a larger suit of armor.

Equipped with a large sword.

"The era differences between armor suits and palaces are remarkably prominent," Lyra tsked.

"If we're eliminated, at least we would've experienced this fabulousness," Ivera gazed, transfixed, at the room.

The contestants were about to head down the steps when they heard a locking sound from the door across the room.

Then the giant armor moved.

"Intruder. Identify yourself," a rumbling robotic voice sounded as the armor lifted its sword and stared lifelessly. Right at the contestants.

"Let's get out and live," Ory whispered.

"I say we head down and fight," Mikayla spoke firmly. "It's our only option."

"Wait...down? As in a descending fashion?" Lyra gasped.

"No, I felt the term should mean "defying gravity" and floating into the sky. Because I decided to screw English in its orifice."

The Armor threw its sword between the two girls, lodging into the wallpaper.

It wanted it back.

"Jump!" Mikayla ordered, leaping over the stair's side and rolling until she regained her footing below. Francis and Ivera did the same while Ory slid down the rail, kicking at the Armor's shin.

It didn't work, and Ory accidentally backflipped off the rail and onto the floor.

"Ow, I hurt my everywhere."

Lyra motioned for Orion to help her pull out the sword, but they failed in time for the Armor to reach them. Orion flipped over the rail and tried to go further, but the Armor smashed the rail, making the poor boy fall to the ground. Lyra frantically grabbed the ceiling beams and monkey-barred her way to safety.

The Armor then destroyed the piece of beam leading to the staircase.

"Ooooh myyyy," Lyra gulped.

Mikayla and Francis retrieved swords from the non-animated armor suits. Ivera repeatedly flung pillows like a frisbee at the Armor's head, to no effect.

"Come down and fight!" Mikayla challenged.

"Are you sure…?" Francis started.

The Armor leaped to the ground, rising and pointing its sword as acceptance to the challenge.

"Has anyone reminded you you're a human being?!" Ory called, rising and rubbing her neck.

"I am far different from a normal person," Mikayla scoffed.

"Damn straight," Ory mumbled.

The Armor charged, leaving Mikayla and Francis to swerve sideways. It charged again at Francis, who dodged. The Armor crashed into a couch and dropped its sword.

"Take this!" Francis swung at the Armor's head, missing and hitting the back instead.

He was knocked aside.

Orion reached for the dropped sword, but the Armor grabbed it and obliviously shoved Orion to the middle of the room.

"Orion!" Lyra exclaimed, looking down…and then up at the chandelier.

"Hmmm…"

"We need a group plan!" Ory tried to make Mikayla see reason, but she was immersed in battle, blocking the Armor's sword strikes and trying to jab chinks in the armor to pry pieces off. Another block forced her into a backwards roll. She rested on her stomach, her sword by her side.

"I am not a weakling!" Mikayla roared. "Unlike you!"

"If you die, you won't be leader anymooore," Ory mused.

Mikayla snorted, getting to her knees and rolling away from her sword when the Armor struck again.

"Hello," Ivera waved to distract the Armor while a sword-bearing Francis uselessly barraged the ankles. "Focus on me! They're too dumb to be worthwhile."

"Hey!" Mikayla gasped.

"All in the name of strategy," Ivera winked. "Totally."

"Orion!" Lyra called down. "I require a sword!"

"Orion exclaims, 'I don't know how to transfer one to your level!'"

"Pull some lace from a pillow!" she commanded.

Orion picked up a stray pillow and pulled. He was confused until…

"Orion informed his team, 'Get down, everyone!'" Orion shouted. He knotted the string around the hilt of the sword and swung lasso-style, launching it to the ceiling where it lodged.

Lyra rushed to the sword. She went to the chandelier, but unexpectedly began using the sword's tip for the top.

"Specific ones should go first," she told herself. As screws began to rain down, Lyra called, "Bring the Armor to the center!"

Francis and Mikayla were incapacitated. Ory and Ivera took turns distracting the Armor while the other lunged. Ory finally had enough and rammed the armor, landing on top as they reached the center.

The Armor held up its sword, making it hover above Ory's back.

Lyra finished the last screw…

The chandelier fell…

And she looked down.

"ORY!"

Everyone tightened their eyes at the impact sound of metal and glass.

…

…

…

…

…

Ory was in a ball beside the collision. The unbroken chandelier skeleton stood with surrounding glass, whereas the Armor was now gruesomely mutilated and broken.

"I could've used my shoelace," Lyra admitted. "Anywho, I thankfully create smart solutions in stressful situations…and I can alliterate!"

"Orion shows great approval through his unadulterated grin."

"And I'm glad I have reflexes," Ory chuckled.

Her eyes showed her quick trip into insanity. A shake of her head, and she was more or less back to normal.

"You were very brave," Ivera nodded reassuringly.

"You distracted the fighters and nearly lost your life in battle," Mikayla said. "That wasn't bravery! That was recklessness."

"And I'm sure it's YOUR teamwork that helped us win," Ory laughed bitterly. "You know, it's really funny to hear you say that!"

Francis cut in. "Let's just…move. We have the OTHER team to destroy instead of our own."

The sound of their way out unlocking made everyone agree. Some more reluctantly than others.

"…How do I get down?" Lyra whimpered. "…Oh yes, I have a sword and my intelligence. Silly me."

* * *

"I think we took the long way," Nash groaned.

Harrison smirked. "I think we took the wrong leader."

"Guys, just please stop arguing," Awrya begged.

"On the bright side, I got exercise," Tysse added. "Thanks, Nash!"

"Whatever, freak," Nash droned absently.

"It's just how tough guys act," Tysse explained to Joey.

"So you have to be mean to people?" Joey asked.

"Not meeeean," Tysse tried to explain. "More like having no feeling, focusing on yourself. 'Cause you and only you matter. Ya know?"

"I guess that's nice," Joey shrugged.

"Let's just not be near them," Awrya said. "Us three can be friends, right?"

"Totally," Tysse nodded. "I can help if you need tips on exercise. I started a week ago, and I'm already a pro. It's just so cool! But my personality's been cooler for way longer."

"What about you?" Joey asked Awrya. "What do you like about yourself?"

"Well, I'm nice?" Awrya shrugged. "And…"

"We start by being solitary and uncaring of the game," Rin told Tilly. "Then, the people will irritate us so much that we decide to take out our personal enemies. But good people are just as bad."

Tilly nodded fervently.

"…and I'm not crazy. I really like that part of me."

The Sinking Sunsets arrived at a dead end. With a mermaid statue randomly placed there.

"She's hot," Tysse and Nash said.

Tysse gasped. "I'm learning! YAY!"

"Do we haaave to go back?" Harrison pinched the bridge of his nose. "Someone activate that mermaid so a secret passage can show up, or I'll curse the deities that control modern media."

"Weee!" Tilly exclaimed, jumping onto the statue and crawling all over it. "No button near there. No button there. We might die! WEEEE!"

"I'm sure there's some way…" Awrya said doubtfully.

"What's a mermaid and what do they do?" Joey asked.

"Oh, they're these subjectively attractive half-women half-fishtail things…"

"That's offensive to deadly mermen everywhere," Tilly huffed.

"…that sing to lure pirates attracted to women to their doom."

Silence…

"Suddenly, life makes sense," Tysse said.

"I thought we left the scarring World Tour days behind," Harrison groaned.

"I'll do it," Joey volunteered. "I've sung before."

The boy began singing some subjectively lovely, choir-reminiscent tunes.

The statue disappeared, replaced by a doorway into a massive room.

"Using our brains for the win!" Tysse cheered, hi-fiving Joey.

"Ew," Nash fake-gagged. "Yo, get a room."

As the team entered the room, they found they were not alone.

"If it isn't Mister Judgmental," Mikayla taunted.

"How's making your teammates hate you coming along?" Harrison retorted.

"Going strong," Ory deadpanned. "If we could just unify…"

"Hi Ory!" Tysse greeted gleefully. He winked. "You're still cool and strong as ever."

"Are you…you know what, never mind," Ory turned away. "We've got our own teams, thank goodness"

"Hey," Ivera offered a friendly wave to the people she met on the opposing team. Nash wiggled his eyebrows and returned it.

"Attention, contestants!"

"THE VOICES! THEY NEVER STOP!" Natalie wept.

Chris's voice was pushed aside for Talgeya's. "In case you haven't noticed, you're in the shrine room."

The ceiling towered above them, pillars holding it up. The room was colored a brilliant gold, with portraits of crown-wearing people concealing the walls. On the far wall was a massive tapestry with the face of a crowned woman woven into it, surrounded by candles and golden objects.

There was also a massive button on the ground.

"Did my team win?!" Mikayla gasped in delight.

"No!" Chris exclaimed happily. "Even if you did win just now, it would probably be to the dismay of certain…teammates of yours."

"We had moments to prepare for battle!" Mikayla yelled at Ory. "You can't criticize!"

"Your final task is to press the button at the end of the room," Talgeya informed them.

"Orion inquires as to what function the button serves."

"It stops this!" Chris cackled, an electronic buzzer sounding off.

"I swear, McLean," Talgeya grumbled.

The room began to shake…and then the side walls disappeared, leading into darkness.

A baseball rocketed into view and hit Natalie.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" the girl screamed as she raced down the hall, curling into a ball once she did.

"Ignoring that virtually useless player," Chris coughed, "Prepare for a game of Dodgeprojectiles! Like Dodgeball, but with greater chances of injury. How exciting! For me."

Objects of varying sizes began to shoot out from the sides. More baseballs, volleyballs, pillows, marshmallows…

A baseball bat.

"OH MY DAMN!" Tysse wailed as his thigh understood what overexposed nerves caused by a baseball bat impact felt like. Harrison observed the bat roll towards him, grabbing it in the process.

"Hey, Sergeant!" he called to Mikayla.

"Not my personal recognized rank, but…" Mikayla was silenced when Harrison wacked a baseball into her face. She howled in pain, clutching her cheek while still running.

"Isn't this fun?!" Tilly asked Lyra.

"What do you consider 'fun'?" Lyra asked, dodging pillows expertly.

Tilly grabbed a pillow from mid-air and sent Lyra to the ground

"An ambiguous answer…hm…" Lyra wondered aloud, trying to stand but getting hit by a water bottle in the process.

Francis' wider body area was prone to being hit more, but the mattress heading his way was just unfair in his eyes, especially when he hit the floor hard.

"OOOF!" Joey's breath was forced out of him as he was bombarded with a powerful stream of water. "I can't do this! I never…I can't!"

"I'll save you!" Tysse declared.

"Tysse, save me!" Nash pleaded, pinned by a net.

"Tough guys don't need saving." Tysse waved it off as a joke.

Nash was soon covered in a cascade of rope nets.

Rin was jogging along pleasantly. "The anti-hero doesn't get eliminated in the first day, either way," he laughed. "Plus, they're usually really good at challenges."

Rin was hit by multiple volleyballs. He fell.

"Although, flaws make the anti-hero realistic and relatable," Rin said thoughtfully.

"Gotcha," Ivera chuckled as she pulled Orion out of a chew toy's trajectory.

"I'm not getting eliminated today," Ivera winked. "Am I right?"

"Orion planned likewise," Orion nodded. "In fact, this reminds Orion of a story he was once read as a child, a tale of heroism, tragedy, a lust for adventure residing in one particular boy, who enjoyed gold. This room is so serene, for it reminds Orion of him, and…"

"Tell me some other time," Ivera smiled quickly.

Mikayla felt good enough to remove her hand from her cheek, increasing her speed without the pain. She finally made it to the other side, a step away from activating the button.

"Come on, Soaring Sunrises!" Mikayla shouted.

"MIKAYLA, END THIS!" Ory roared among the sounds of falling comrades and clanging objects.

"This isn't called a challenge for nothing!" Mikayla called back.

"It's a challenge because you're supposed to overcome it!" Harrison snapped. "You know, preferably as a team in this game?"

"Are you, like, trying to make us win?" Ivera cackled.

Harrison was coming close, so Mikayla gave in and stomped on the button with a satisfied 'hmph'.

The battlefield ceased fire.

"And the Soaring Sunrises win the first challenge of Total Drama Castle Nova!" Talgeya announced.

"You're not supposed to sound happy," Chris told her. "If you do, they get a false sense of hope."

"Anywho," Talgeya droned. "Head back to your bedroom, everyone. Expect your neighborhood cannon fodder to be leaving soon."

* * *

The teams regrouped in their collective bedroom, with quite the effort to recover from the day's events.

"Allow me to impress upon you the errors of your ways," Harrison spoke forcefully, making sure each of his teammates paid attention. "You all want to win, I assume. Well, running off and doing your own thing, or not contributing to the challenge, or just being a relative pain in the pieces of meat that cover my rear end, is not the way to win."

"It's the first day," Awrya pointed out. "We'll do better next time."

"Next time? You do realize we're going to elimination, right?"

"Thanks a lot, p*ss**s!" Nash growled. "I'm going to the f***ing elimination 'cause you're all so f***ing stupid!"

"If you could stop blaming us for losing a hard challenge, that would be nice," Awrya held her hands on her hips.

"Do I get a favor in return?"

Awrya's eyes went wide. "Ew."

Joey rubbed his arm sheepishly. "What does f*** mean?".

"It's a word for when you're really angry and you wanna just hurt someone real bad or watch a scary movie and maybe get some ideas from it," Tilly said. "You should try it!"

"Maybe not," Awrya shook her head.

"I guess you could vote me off," Joey said with a tone that didn't suggest he even cared. His eyes said otherwise, though. "I didn't do anything. Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm doing here."

"Now don't say that," Tysse shook his head. "There's money, and fame, and the chance to be cool and tough by learning from other people. How do you think I became this awesome?"

He grabbed dumbbells from beside his bed and began lifting. "My absolute record is 10. I went unconscious afterwards, but that means I did well."

"He's right, more or less," Awrya nodded. "Don't think you're useless. Everyone has something to offer for the team, and you're no exception."

"Except for Nash, of course," Harrison added. "Who we're all gonna vote out, I assume."

"Woah, wanna say that to my face, you prick?" Nash snapped.

Harrison was kind enough to obey. "We're. Going. To. Eliminate. You."

A shoving match once again ensued.

"There's too much stress on this team. The only way to get rid of it is by eliminating everyone,' Tilly cackled with joy.

"The anti-hero gets rid of who he wants," Rin shrugged apologetically…brightening immediately after. "It's sad to those people, but not to him! The anti-hero can't have feelings, at least not yet. We're too early in the plot."

Meanwhile, the Soaring Sunrises were not exactly doing well, either.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Ory demanded. 'What a complete lack of regard to the team!"

"My job isn't to make life easy for you," Mikayla responded calmly. "It's to be a leader. To teach you. So far, that seems to be working. We're not eliminating anyone, now are we?"

"Orion approves of looking on the bright side of things," Orion commented, gazing at the light fixtures above with fascination.

"I'm content with the day's events, as well," Lyra nodded.

"I'm tired," Ivera yawned.

"You know," Francis pitched, "It's attitudes like yours that make me so tense in this game. I was completely distracted in the last part. I didn't help anyone, and I'm sorry for that."

"You don't even care about all of us!" Ory yelled, using more hand gestures. "You basically like the people who shut up and do what they're told by this rude queen wannabe! Since when was Total Drama NOT a collaborated effort?"

Natalie sung softly to herself on her bed. "Sweet, sweet roses, the pedals fall slowly, in the breeze from the bombs on the hiiillll…"

"I'm done here," Mikayla raised her palms and left to her bed, Francis tailing behind.

Ivera went to comfort Ory. "We'll get rid of her when we can."

"…I'm glad YOU'RE on my side, at least," Ory mumbled miserably.

Ivera grinned.

"May all Sinking Sunsets please report to the main stairwell," Talgeya announced. "Just go all the way to the roof."

* * *

"Greetings, Team-Whose-Name-Is-Very-Fitting-Right-Now." Chris smirked in amusement as the team abandoned the exit corridor to be bathed in afternoon sunlight.

"Haven't you grown tired of your old humor?" Talgeya probed with complete honesty.

"When you're being sued left and right by people who think you're an abomination to society because you make fun challenges for kids…"

"You mean 'deadly'," Talgeya corrected.

"…Or you just ignore the wildlife when buying an island…"

"'Anti-environmentalism.'"

"…you tend to enjoy other people's pain."

"I have a lot of work to do," Talgeya sighed to herself.

"Can we get on with our elimination, please?" Rin requested, energetically bouncing up and down before catching himself doing such a 'non-anti-hero' act. "The anti-hero's voting decision is usually the right one, because at the beginning of a story it shows their true power to the viewers right from the start."

Chris and Talgeya gave Rin a look that pleaded for his sanity.

The teens sat down on lawn chairs facing a podium, which the co-hosts shared. Behind them was a helicopter.

"Do you like your elimination vehicle?" Chris smiled

"What if we're afraid of heights?" Tysse raised an eyebrow. "Not that a cool person doesn't like, you know, skydiving from an exploding helicopter and stuff…"

"You could become a zombie-like creature roaming the dark halls of the RCMP instead of getting on the helicopter," Talgeya suggested. "…..…Actually, please don't be 'that guy.'"

"Your votes are in," Chris declared. "When I call your name, you will come up and get your dollar-store plastic crown of beautiful temporary safety."

Talgeya pulled the crowns out from behind the podium. "The first crown goes to Awrya."

Awrya beamed and gave Joey a reassuring look before claiming her crown.

"…Joey."

Joey sighed in relief and joined her up front.

":…Tilly."

A grin too large to be comfortable for most people spread across her face. "Mwahahahahahahahahahaha."

"If you could stop muttering things we can't hear, come get your crown," Chris rolled his eyes.

Talgeya further examined the teens. "….Tysse."

"I'm cool!" Tysse cheered.

"…Rin."

"My strategy is going perfectly!" Rin remarked, grabbing his crown and wearing it with dignity. "I mean, pft, yay, whatever."

Harrison and Nash remained.

"Just give it to me already," Harrison raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, shut your f*gg*t face," Nash jeered. "They brought me here for a reason, you know."

"To be the reverse-psychology equivalent of a role model?"

"The final crown goes to…"

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"Nash."

"YEAH, BABY!"

…Harrison didn't move.

He didn't utter a sound.

He…went blank.

"…..How?"

He enunciated the word as long as possible…

"How on EARTH. Did THAT sexist! Predictable! Moronic! Offensive! Stereotyping! Uncultured! Uneducated pile of faecal matter! Get past ME in Total Drama?!"

The Sinking Sunsets were silent…

"…You were mean," Tilly giggled. "And not in the fun way."

"You were always upset with someone," Awrya nodded.

"Nash is my idiot-level nemesis, but you're my anti-hero-level nemesis," Rin accused. "'Cause you're another anti-hero…not as good as me, but an anti-hero nonetheless. That's threatening."

"Screw your labels!" Harrison roared. "As far as anyone was concerned, I was the good guy, and I was your only chance at making the merge! I was smart! I even built muscles just for the show! Do you know how perfect an asset I was?! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!"

"Okay, can the whiner please remove himself from his seat?" Chris fake-yawned, examining his reflection in his fingernails.

Harrison stomped towards the helicopter, kicking Nash in the shins along the way.

"FUUUUUUUUU…!"

"You're all done for," Harrison grimaced.

The helicopter door closed, and away he went.

"Wasn't that enthralling?" Chris asked the cameras. "Oh, of course it was. I mean, I planned pretty much all of it. Especially the challenge."

"Much to the distaste of the producers, but yes, you did," Talgeya nodded.

"Sister, if there's one thing you do not mess with, it's my outros."

"Oh, well excuse me while I invade every personal part of your public occupation, which I share," Talgeya smiled. "One down, thirteen to go! Will the Sinking Sunsets regret their decision? Will the Soaring Sunrises settle their conflicts? Who will be stupid enough to let themselves get eliminated next? Find out next time on...!"

"TOTALDRAMACASTLENOVA!" Chris finished hurriedly. "Ha! You didn't get it!"

"But you ruined it," Talgeya pointed out.

"….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

 **Votes:**

Tilly: Harrison  
Harrison: Nash  
Nash: Harrison  
Tysse: Harrison  
Awrya: Harrison  
Joey: Harrison  
Rin: Harrison

* * *

 **Soaring Sunrises:**

Ivera – The Everyday Strategist  
Natalie – The Paranoid Girl  
Orion – The Inspiration Seeker  
Ory – The Team Player  
Mikayla – The Self-Declared Leader  
Lyra – The Inquisitive Girl  
Francis – The Bodyguard

 **Sinking Sunsets:**

Tilly – The Overbearing 'Friend'  
Nash – The 'Cool' Kid  
Tysse – The Try-Hard  
Awrya – The Mundane Girl  
Joey – The Blank Slate  
Rin – The Self-Titled Anti-Hero

 **Eliminations:**

14) Harrison - The Flaw Police


End file.
